Global Terror Levels
As many are aware, the French government recently announced a raise in its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide”. The normal level is “General Arrogance”, and the only two higher levels in France are “Surrender” and “Collaborate”. The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country’s military capability.
It’s not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert: Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout loudly and excitedly” to “Elaborate military posturing”. Two more levels remain, “Ineffective combat operations” and “Change sides”.
The Germans also increased their alert state from “Disdain” to “Dress in uniform and sing marching songs”. They have two higher levels: “Invade a neighbour” and “Lose”.
Seeing this reaction in continental Europe the Americans have gone from “Isolationism” to “Find another oil-rich nation for regime change”. Their remaining higher alert states are “Attack random countries (ideally those without any credible military)” and “Beg the British for help”.
The British are also feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings and have raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved”. Soon though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross”. Londoners have not been “A Bit Cross” since the Blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “Bloody Nuisance”. The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was during the Great Fire of 1666.
The Australians thought about doing something but have decided that their security level of “She’ll be right mate” is enough.
Expect for the small % of Australians who decided to play “simon says” with America, unfortunately that small % run the country.
Categories: Funny Stuff · The World
Today I along with a number of guild and university people visited the office of Dr Carmen Lawrence. We did a short photo shoot, with her signing the Close the Gap Petition. Quite a interesting visit even if we didn’t really get a chance to speak to her. It was nice to see Dr Lawrence supporting close the gap, as it is such a worthwhile cause.
Close the Gap is a campaign run by Oxfam to raise funding for indigenous health. Aboriginal people suffer from serious health problems which are not addressed by the Government. Though the Government doesn’t really seem to care about anyone’s health. In the case of Aboriginal people the effects are quite clear with Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander women only living to on average 65. The situation is even worse for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander men whose life expectancy is only 59.4 years. Thats around 17 years less then the rest of the Australian population.
The Murdoch Guild is supporting Close the Gap by having students sign the petition. Below are some photos of the Kulbardi staff and Guild representatives signing the petition.
We will also have a guild table on Bush Court next week, so please come and sign the petition.
Categories: Uncategorized
On Wednesday 2nd of May Students all over Australia marched for students rights at work, quality and accessible education and a greener future. These are all important an relevant issues for Australian students.
I have to admit it was my first rally and while it wasn’t hugely successful [only about 100 students from all the Perth campuses] it was a great deal of fun. We marched from the Perth Cultural Centre to the office of Liberal Chris Ellision in northbridge. The senator, surprise, surprise refused to come meet with us but that’s probably better for the campaign. Shows he has nothing to say in response or that he doesn’t want to talk to his electorate. What is it with politicians not answering people concerns ? We vote them in.
Maybe we weren’t important enough for him….
Categories: NUS · National Day of Action
